Becoming the Condor | Reflections After 230 Rollercoaster Days of Lockdown in Peru

The time has come. I actually can’t believe I am writing these words from a place that has been shut down for the last 8 months, the Cusco airport. As I sit here, I am filled with a wide range of emotions. Peru has been shut off from the outside world for over 230 days.

I have tears streaming down my face. They are a mixture of both happy and sad. I am filled with excitement, yet I am terrified at the same time. My heart is overflowing with gratitude, but it is also feeling empty and longing for more. These times aren’t normal by any means and I guess it’s probably how we are all feeling right now… 

The world looks a lot different from my arrival in South America last October 2, 2019. What a whirlwind this year has been. I arrived into Ecuador on the day the protests began. I planned on only staying in Peru until April 2020, where I would continue my South America journey into Bolivia and onwards. 

But, life happens and I was meant to stay here in Peru. I sit here in the airport, a total mess, reflecting on all these feelings and processing all that I’ve learned. 

The Lockdown in Peru

As the virus swept across the globe, Peru was quick to shut the borders down. The borders shut in less than 24 hours on March 16, 2020. I was housesitting in a tiny village in the Sacred Valley. The decision was easy for me; I didn’t even contemplate buying a “last minute” ticket. Airports and borders closed. Something told me to stay, and so I did. The tourists fled and many stayed behind to “wait it out.” Little did we all know that this shut down would stretch over 2/3 of a year.

The Weeks Passed On. 

At first, I cried a lot. The quarantine and state of emergency continued to stretch on. There were some weeks where I was only allowed to leave my house for essentials. Women were allowed out three days a week and men three days as well. On Sundays, we were all quarantined into our homes. Luckily, I was house sitting two dogs and I was permitted to take them for walks. They saved me. During our walks I was able to reflect, stretch my legs, clear my head, and be in the moment. 

Now, the weeks turned into months. I buried myself into these blog posts. Honestly, it was therapeutic and helped me keep my mind off the state of the world. 

As time stretched on, I moved from the Sacred Valley into Cusco. I met an awesome group of women and I began to embrace the fact that I was here for unknown amount of time. 

Something Was Happening. 

My perspective was shifting. I was no longer “stuck in Peru,” but rather, I was filled with gratitude to be here. I woke to the mighty mountains. In the mornings, I would walk through the markets, the stalls overflowing with plentiful fresh produce and supplies. Fluffy white clouds danced in a sky so bright. Some days I would wander the mountains, some days alone and other days with people who were going through this same crazy situation.

For months, the lockdown continued, but it felt normal now to be here in Cusco and the Sacred Valley. It was becoming “home,” a word I never usually included in my vocabulary. 

You see, as a wandering soul, the word home could feel unnatural coming from my lips. Why be in one place when the world is so vast, and its beauty waiting to be explored?

But it was during this time that I started to simply “be.” After wandering around the globe non-stop for 10 years, I was forced to sit in stillness, in one place. What an amazing thing to slow down, listen and learn, surrender to things we can’t change and be present in the moment. 

It was during these times that I have had some of my biggest realizations.

It was no coincidence that I was locked in Peru. It was fate. I found myself in the ancient epicenter of one of the most powerful and spiritual dynasties of all time, the Inca Empire. 

Being here I began to understand the significance of the Inca Trilogy. These symbols are represented by the animals of the snake, the puma, and the condor. With the guidance of these three animals, I seem to have written my own trilogy during a time of uncertainty.

The Snake

In the trifecta, the snake represents the underworld. However, quite contrary to modern Christian beliefs, the snake was a symbol of rebirth. From death, comes life. 

After spending months in such a powerful place, I can’t help but think that a part of me died. A part I no longer needed. I can’t go back to who I was before spending time here, and like the snake, I have a shed the skin I no longer fit into. The skin I wear now feels comfortable and I can see its glow. 

The Puma

Of the three symbols, the Puma represents the earthly life and reality we are living in. The symbol of the Puma can be seen at so many Sacred sites. It is even said that Cusco is built in the shape of this respected animal. There are many words used to characterize the Puma, but the two that stand out the most to me are patience and strength. 

For me, this quarantine brought me into the current moment, into this earthly realm. There was no escaping on “where will I go next,” or daydreaming of far off places. As the quarantine loomed on and was extended month after month, I learned the art of patience. I had absolutely no control over the current situation. However, I could control my outlook on it and surrender to what is, not what I wanted to happen. When I shifted my mindset to the present moment, I found peace in my surroundings. 

I didn’t realize how physically and mentally strong I am. Being here in Peru during the lockdown felt more natural than being anywhere else in the world. I found the strength everyday to get out of bed and embrace each moment. I made the most of my time here instead of falling victim to an unfortunate situation. I greeted each day with a cup of coffee, hopeful eyes, and a sense of adventure. Cusco and the Sacred Valley became my playground, and I found inside myself a child-eye wonder for my current home.  

A Home in the Andes

Just like the Puma, I made a home in the Andes. Although I never physically saw the sacred cat while wandering the mountains, I couldn’t help but feel the presence of it there with me. With all the time I spent in the mountains, I gained a new respect and understanding for our consecutiveness to all that is. I understood the sacredness of Pachamama, Mother Earth. I could feel when the weather was about to change or smell the rain coming. I saw the importance of fresh water sources and the harmony of the ecosystems. 

I saw the resilience of the people who have made these harsh mountains their homes and the way they showed the outmost respect for the lands and to the mountains.

Apus

To the Indigenous people, the Apus were their Gods. The more time I spent in these mountains the more I could understand why they believe this.  I was an eager disciple of the Apus and I feel they shared with me their secrets, the truth, and with them I found happiness and contentment. 

I owe so many of the lessons I learned from the mighty Apus that I feel so fortunate to have spent so much quality time with them. I am thankful for the mighty Puma, who I followed in their graceful footsteps.

The Condor

The condor was the most sacred bird of the Incas. It flew in the heavens and was a messenger of “Inti” the Sun God. There are also many legends and stories of the powerful condor. 

During my time in Peru, there have been many whispers of the ancient prophecy of the Eagle and the Condor.

“When the Eagle of the North flies with the Condor of the South, the spirit of the land she will re-awaken.” ~ Inca Prophecy

It is said when this happens, the world will know peace and we will raise our consciousness.

The Eagle, of course, represents the people of the North, while the Condor the people of the South. The Eagle also can symbolize our minds, an industrial world, and the power that comes with it. It is the masculine. The condor is a symbol of our hearts, intuition, and in duality is the softer feminine.  

As I sit here waiting to board my plane, I think of my tiny part in this prophecy

I grow wings as I board my plane with its massive wing span. I will become the condor for a brief moment, flying high in the heavens. I will take all the lessons I have learned from the three animals, the Apus, and the Indigenous people and meet the Eagle in the North.  I will share my truths and the important lessons I have learned, and just maybe I can help shift a few peoples perception on what really matters. 

We are all one and we are all connected to the Earth. How we treat each other, the Earth, and all creatures who inhabit it is what actually matters. It is important for us all to quit buying into this false reality that objects and things define who and what we are. Start living life the life you want from your heart, stop overthinking it. Breath in and out, practice gratitude daily, know that life is a gift and start greeting each moment with wonder. We all deserve happiness and have the choice to embrace it daily. These are only a few lessons I learned, but maybe the most important. 

Coming Home

So now, they are calling for me to board my flight.

You see, where I’m going. now, there will be no women walking with their sheep down a dusty road. There will be no children running carefree through the barrio, chasing a tire with a chicken tow, and a dog gleefully following them. But maybe, just maybe I can share the magic of what exactly I’ve experienced.

Yes, I will share the big stories of trekking 9 days to Machu Picchu and tackling the mighty high altitude trek of Ausangate, but the real life changing moments came in the small ordinary moments. Like when a sleepy dog finds happiness on your shoulder in the sun, or a little girl smiles for a photo with me. It’s the smile of strangers on the street, where the language barrier doesn’t exist. You see, we’re just two humans connecting for a brief minute, sharing the same space.

As I sit here and think of these recent experiences, I feel so alive with every tear that falls from my eyes. How lucky am I to have fallen in love with a place, with people, with the mountains, but most importantly, I fell even more in love with myself and my life. Somehow while the world fell apart and felt heavy on my shoulders, I became full and somehow lighter. I became a ray of light in a wild storm. 

I will fly home and share my stories. I will carry with me all the love and enchantment of Peru and the incredible lessons I learned. And maybe, I will speak of it with so much admiration, that you will feel it, too. 

I have cycled from the snake, to the puma, and now as I walk down the jetway I am the condor. From feeling sad about being “stuck in Peru” to being devastated to leave my “home,” all things have come full circle. And like all cycles, this one will close and a new one will begin.

Thank you so much Peru, for all that you have taught me and for allowing me to be in such a sacred place while the world fell apart. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

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