Travel With Your Mom, A Growing Experience

I have spent a majority of my years traveling solo, but there is something that I am growing more and more fond of, and that is to travel with my mom. Travel opens our eyes and hearts to different cultures, but it can also change our relationships with those close to us. Jumping into the unknown of the world with my mom has been such a wonderful experience. We are becoming better global citizens, receptive and learning from those different than us, but our relationship is expanding in a unique way. The world influences us separately, but together these experiences are shaping us; an element that would not be tangible without the gift of travel.

My mom and I had a strained relationship while I was dealing with my own “growing pains.” I pushed and challenged my family quite a bit, but my parents did something remarkable, and they let me mature on my own terms. The more I rebelled, the less they pushed back. For this, I am truly grateful; allowing me to grow and make mistakes on my own terms really did shape my life. I have never felt like I fit into society, and my parents never forced me to. They encouraged me to develop and learn; however, it was my mom and I’s relationship which suffered the most. We can’t go back and change history, but traveling with my mom has mended some of these past imperfections of our relationship.

Our First Trip

We took our first mother-daughter trip to Spain a few years back. Everyone was a little nervous as to how this trip would transpire, even me. Something miraculous happened. We bonded and I got to watch my mom experience things she had never done before. I saw her differently. It must be like how she looked at me many years ago, when I was a toddler with zealous eyes. I got to introduce my mom to my world, and she looked like she belonged. It felt like she belonged.

There is a moment on this trip that will forever change how I perceived my mom. We were driving through the mountains in Andalusia, and she told me that this was one of the most incredible things she had ever done. She shut her eyes, and her lips curved into a smile, and I wanted to stop time right there. The look of contentment on her face was something I had never seen, or maybe I had never taken the time to look at her this way. She looked at peace and truly happy. I wanted my mom to stay in this moment, and I realized I helped provide this moment in time to her. It will always be sharp in my memory and an experience that we will always share. A major turning point in our relationship.

Making Memories

Traveling with mom was enjoyable. Everyday on that trip we were creating fond memories, and we were reconnecting. The more days we spent in that car, the more I appreciated her presence there with me. We were painting new concepts: from the people we met, the scenery we experienced, the food we ate, and the wine we drank. Something amazing happened. We survived the whole 10 days without a fight, and had a new appreciation for each other.

Lessons Only Travel Can Provide

Sometimes all we need is a change of scenery. Sometimes there is too much pain in the familiarity of home, so the further away we move from it, the more successfully we can let go of the past. We can build a new future and create a new reality. Traveling with my mom has really done that for us. A change of scenery allowed me to see my mother in a new light, and she saw me in my element. These new encounters designed a new backdrop for understanding each other.

She educated me and my sister on how to see the world with open loving eyes, but somehow along the way, she lost how to the see the world in this way. I was reteaching my mom everything she instilled in my sister and me.

She had been so selfless in her life, with her family, and an extremely dedicated teacher. Not only was she changing the lives of her children, but was changing the lives of her students. She taught Learning Disabilities and Emotional Behavioral students for years, always rewarding, but testing her patience. She spent so much of her life giving to others that she had nothing left for herself.

While traveling, I saw a change in her. She began to have more confidence and ease within the world. Patience was slowly coming back to her. I could feel her more relaxed and at peace. Travel was changing my mom, and in return, our relationship was growing stronger.

A Month of Travel with Mom

We spent two weeks in Finland house sitting, and then we traveled together to Germany to visit the village of our ancestors. She was there for me when I needed her the most. We spent just under a month again traveling together.

Things were not perfect, and there were some bumps in the road, but I could see my patience with my mom evolving. Something was wrong with my mom, and we spent some time in the hospitals in Finland. My compassion for her deepened. Again, our relationship was maturing in yet another way.

Nothing is Perfect….

Things are never perfect. We still had small fights and disagreements, but that is the thing with travel. Time waits for no one, and you’re forced to work and resolve issues faster. Mom and I were getting better at talking about disagreements and talking more comfortably and calmly with each other. Travel is a gift that has allowed us to be more honest with each other, and more importantly, ourselves. I have realized that a lot of our conflict may be due to the fact that we are more similar than different.

Future Trips With Mom

My mom and I were supposed to be walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain this summer together. It was a moment we were both looking forward to, but with her health issues in Finland, we had to cut our trip short. I know how disappointed she was that she wasn’t able to walk. She cried, and I told her I would wait for her. That trip had become “our journey,” and it felt wrong to go on without her. My mom, still in all her pain, was being completely selfless and encouraging me on-wards, to go on without her. That’s the thing about my mom; she always wants the best for me, even if it doesn’t include her. This time, though, I want to include her. I want nothing more than to walk by her side.

My personal goal for the Camino was to work on being more patient with my mother. What I have learned is that, traveling with my mom has already given me that gift. I realize that I am supposed to be there for my mom, like she was there for me all those years. She guided me patiently and held onto my hand when I could not tackle the world on my own. It’s my turn to return the favor, and the thing is: I want to be there. It’s not guilt, but love. No matter how long it takes my mom to heal, I will wait for her, and we will walk with poise and resilience. One foot in front of the next, each step forward to healing.

Travel & Grow With Your Mom

Our relationship has grown so much for the better. There are days that I am on the road and my mind drifts to “mom would love this.” We have become quite compatible travel companions, and with time, our relationship will continue to thrive. If you are at all hesitant about traveling with your mom, DON’T BE. Some of my favorite travel memories have been made giggling next to my mom. Even sitting on a bus bench at 3:00 a.m. after a trip to the hospital, we found a way to laugh as the sun came up. Travel has given my mom and I the greatest gift: a second chance.

Travel will change you, but the amazing thing is, it can change the relationships with those you include on your journey. I have loved showing my mom the world, just as she did to me as I was growing up.

Have you ever traveled with your mom? Do you agree that it can help change your relationship for the better? Let me know in the comments below!

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